Take Heart

Avoiding Temporary Fixes by Carrie M. Holt

• Amy J Brown, Carrie Holt and Sara Clime • Season 3 • Episode 110

Share episode

Did you know that the desire for a good, calm life has been built into us by God? Sometimes that desire seems easier to reach when we cope with temporary pleasures. What do we do when we are tired, traumatized, and feel like we're done with life? Listen to this episode of Take Heart as Carrie speaks to the small ways we persevere with Jesus instead of trying to fill that need ourselves and what the big picture looks like with God in the center. 

January 10, 2023; Ep. 110

Show Links:

Show Takeaways: 

  • [3:41] What does it mean to persevere?
  • [8:18] Learn about small choices you can make in your ‘unconverted places’ to give us perseverance when you need it most.
  • [9:06] Speaking truth to our hearts daily.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please...

[0:06] Thank you for being with us today on Take Heart, where our goal is to offer encouragement, give hope, and insight, so you are flourishing in your journey as a special needs mom. As we explore monthly themes, share inspiring stories and a few practical tips, our desire is that you are connected and encouraged and that you know you are not alone. If anything you hear today on the podcast resonates with you, would you send us an email and tell us about it? We love connecting with our listeners. All of our resources, including an entire written transcript of this episode, if you prefer reading to listening, are available on our website www.takeheartspecial moms.com. There are also links to things that we mentioned in the show notes of this episode. We thank you for joining us today.

[1;04] Happy New Year, it's January. This is Carrie M. Holt today; I am having a hard time believing it is 2023. This month's theme is perseverance. A little bit of about me is that I am one of those people who do not love to read books or watch movies that end badly or have loose ends left undone. Everything needs to be tied up in a nice neat bow. There needs to be some type of closure and hope, but the last thing that we need are cliches or pat answers. Honestly, when I began to write this podcast, I struggled a bit because I don't want our listeners ever to think that I claim to have all the answers or that I'm just giving things that you've heard before. I do always want to share a bit of hope in the midst of the struggles. As special needs moms, we know what it's like to have curveball after curveball thrown at us - to face traumas and emergency after emergency. In the year 2020, during the pandemic, my son had five surgeries between the end of July and the beginning of December. Honestly, after 16 years of trauma and putting out fires, I'm tired, my stamina is down, and the buildup of trauma in my body in my mind from the repeated medical emergencies has left me dry. There are moments and days when all I want to do is get lost in my phone, read a good book, or eat a Snickers bar, none of which are going to sustain me when hard times come. That has definitely been the struggle as of late. I'm being completely honest here. I want life to be good again. I want life to be calm. I don't want to have to call and fight with insurance companies or make more medical appointments because something else has come up with my son's health. Do you know that God-given desire for life to be good again is normal? Our heart's desire is for Eden before the fall. My friend calls it the Genesis 1 & 2 world. God placed it inside of all of us. We long for heaven and for everything to be made right again. Unfortunately, though, our human tendency is to fill our hearts, minds and bodies, and lives with things that are temporarily going to make us feel better. Whether it's a glass of wine in the evening, playing games on our phone, or sugar. We settle for the substitute instead of what is going to sustain us. I'm the biggest offender here. As a result, our perseverance is going to fade. 

[3:41] What do we do when we are tired, traumatized, and feel like we're done with life? We want to zone out, and we want to give up. We have nothing left inside of us to persevere. What does it mean to persevere? I love definitions, and I love defining our terms so we're all on the same page. The dictionary definition means "a steady persistence in a course of action, especially in the face of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement." Something else I read in relation to James and the word perseverance means that it is the characteristic of a person who isn't swerved from their deliberate purpose and the loyalty to their faith. Let's admit it, that perseverance is hard, especially now. We definitely live a life of ease and comfort in the United States compared to those other countries, and it hasn't exactly built our resilience. We can buy something at a touch of a button; we can have a package delivered in less than a day. 

[4:43] Here is where I do want to get a little bit practical and share some things that I've learned along the way about perseverance. In no way do I have all the answers, and in no way am I practicing all these things on a daily basis. I'm not always consistent. I can tell you that for sure. I'm on the other end of consistency. John Eldridge's book Resilience has had a huge impact on me. There are a few takeaways that I want to share with you from that book, and also things that I've learned. I want you to know that the depth of this really goes beyond a twelve-minute podcast. Again, I'm not trying to give you some trite answers; I understand that there's a very real tension between the desire to give up and the desire to keep going. Here are some things I've learned along the way when we want to zone out and be comfortable. 

[5:32] First of all, be encouraged that you're not alone. Secondly, know that we don't have to persevere in our own strength. We need to start by asking God for the strength that prevails. John Eldridge says in that book I mentioned earlier, "that we've been set up for this loss of heart, we've been set up to be overcome. We've been set up to give in. Jesus knew all of this and lovingly told us to ask for the strength that prevails. We can't find what we need by cutting off our main source of oxygen..." and that's through Jesus. I think oftentimes when we are angry or upset or in survival mode, our first tendency is to turn to the things that are going to satisfy us quickly, and what we think is going to last,  but actually, it doesn't. We tend to turn away from God instead of toward him. I know you've heard me say this over and over again on the podcast if you've listened for some time that we need to give ourselves time and space to grieve our losses. I recently watched a movie about Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. There was a quote in that movie where he said, "There is no grief, like the grief that does not speak." Do not hold it inside, share it with someone, and most of all, share it with God. John Eldredge also mentions that "God can handle your anger, disappointment, even bitterness, but walking away from Jesus is forsaking your only hope out of the heartache." Let's choose his strength and daily asked for it. 

[7:00] Secondly, one of the other things that I'm learning about perseverance is to be single-hearted. I cannot let our hearts and minds be distracted by everything we're trying to use to fill the aching pain in our hearts. The devil loves to prey on the areas where we're vulnerable, in the areas where we are filling that desire for life to be good again, with everything other than God. A quote that is often attributed to Blaise Pascal, is this: "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person. It can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God made known through Jesus Christ." It is actually a paraphrase of what he actually said. "What else does this craving and this helplessness proclaim, but there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace. This he tries to fill in vain with everything around him, seeking things that are not there, the health that he cannot find, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object. In other words, by God Himself." God Himself is the only thing that can truly fulfill and sustain us, and to give us that perseverance when we need it the most. 

[8:18] Perseverance starts with small choices in our unconverted places. It's choosing to take a walk instead of grabbing the bag of chips. It's choosing to pray first thing in the morning instead of reaching for our phones. In that same book, John mentions, "Our salvation is a process, not an event. Oh, yes, it is our homecoming, to be sure, but salvation is also the recreation of our fallen humanity, a restoration of our life through a union with Christ, and that happens over time." Can you ask God to show you where you are vulnerable? Where are you using other things to fill that aching void, that infinite abyss? What small steps can you take today to fill that void with Jesus instead of everything else? 

[9:06] Lastly, we need to speak the truth to our hearts on a daily basis. We need to fill our minds and hearts with the truth and make little deposits of truth along the way through scripture, prayer, and praise. Remind your heart and ask God to remind you daily how much he loves you. The more we fall in love with Jesus, the more our hearts begin to understand and truly comprehend that this life isn't all there is. One day he is going to make all things new, friend. Can you believe that? Could this be why the greatest command was to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, soul, and mind? When I'm the most discouraged, music that is based on the truth of Scripture is what I go to. Some of my favorite songs right now are Don't Lose Heart by Steven Curtis Chapman. Hmmm, has he listened to our podcast.? I highly doubt it. I thought it was ironic that that song came out on his new album. There's also another song called Better Days are Coming by Mercy Me and Forgiven by David Crowder. The truth is, as Ecclesiastes says, our life is but a vapor, and we need to keep our eyes on the prize, friends. We need to remember that everything is going to be made right again; our children are going to be made whole. That is what has to keep us going. Speak truth to your heart on a daily basis. 

[10:34] I want to close with this scripture from II Corinthians 4. "Therefore having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. (there's that phrase again). But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted but not forsaken, struck down, but not destroyed. We do not lose heart, though our outer self is wasting away our inner self is being renewed day by day. But this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. So we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen, for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. My friend, let us build into our hearts and minds and lives, the things that will last forever. God's word, his strength and his truth. Look to the things that are going to sustain you and help you persevere above all, and that is Jesus Christ.