Take Heart

A Daily Active Choice by Sara Clime

February 15, 2022 • Amy J Brown, Carrie Holt and Sara Clime • Season 2 • Episode 73

Share episode

Sometimes we have a preconceived notion that surrender means quitting. In this episode, Sara dives into what it means to surrender to God as an active daily choice the benefits that come as a result.

February 15, 2022; Ep. 73

Timestamps & Key Topics:

  • 0:00-    Intro
  • 1:33-    Deliberate Choice
  • 5:01-    Letting Go
  • 6:44-    Live In Today
  • 8:39-    Defining Our Lives
  • 11:11-  Closing Poem
  • 12:04-  Outro

Episode Links & Resources:

If you enjoyed our podcast, please...

Support the show

Sara Clime
Welcome to Take Heart. We're so glad you're here. I wanted to take a moment to let you know that we have free resources that we would love to share with you, and you can find them on our website at takeheartspecialmoms.com.

(1:15)  Welcome to Take Heart where our goal is to offer encouragement, give hope and insights, so you can flourish in your journey as a special needs mom. As we explore monthly themes, share inspiring stories, and practical tips, our desire is to continue to serve you and new listeners. Thank you for joining me today. 

(1:33)  Hi, it's Sara Clime this week, and we are talking about surrender this month. That word alone can make me cringe. So let me start this episode with an honest confession. I am strong-willed, and that's just simply a nicer word for stubborn. I had been that way since I was a little girl. My mom is vehemently shaking her head yes right now, and saying, "Ya think, Sara." Being strong-willed can be a positive thing in life, when tough times come and we know that they will come, I'm more of a take the bull by the horns and tackle it into submission kind of gal. I'm not one to roll over and quit or let the hard times dictate my life. So surrendering sounds like quitting to me. We are created with a natural fight/flight or flee response to negative events or trauma, and surrendering isn't a natural response. I think there's a reason why it's not called fight, flight, flee or surrender. It's no wonder surrendering to God is difficult. It goes against our natural instincts, but this alone can be confusing when you realize that God created us. Do you ever wonder why He created us to be able to choose whether we give our lives to Him? I think in part, it's because he is so relational. He loves us and wants to be loved in return. He doesn't want us to quit and just give in to him for the sake of him controlling us. He wants us to love him. He wants us to want to be loved by Him. He wants us to want to lean on him. He wants us to desire His power and strength, and He wants our deliberate act of surrendering to Him. Perhaps then we have the wrong definition or view of surrendering. I know I did, at least before I really knew what surrendering meant and how much it would bless my life once I did it. Whenever I say once I did it, this is a continuous act of surrendering for me. I think it's imperative for us to know the difference between surrendering and quitting, though. When we think of surrendering, we think of losing and being forced to surrender and submit to another entity or another power. In our worldview that is a negative consequence of surrendering. Someone else gets to tell us what to do, and it's often accompanied by a forced change we don't want. However, in God's eternal views surrendering is still submitting to a higher power, God, but we are surrendering to Him because He sent His Son on earth to die, and Jesus won that battle for us already. We aren't surrendering because we are losing a battle. The battle has already been won. Surrendering to God means we are accepting the piece that follows that battle. Our surrendering to God isn't without action on our part, though. Surrendering to God is an action, and he gave us that choice. It takes deliberate thought and setting aside our own base wants and desires for an internal reward. Quitting is a passive action. It means to stop doing something. Surrendering is action. It is a deliberate choice that we make. When we surrender we acknowledge that there is another way that is better or stronger than our own. We may not like it. It might not be great all the time, but we acknowledge that that other way is better, so we surrender to It. 

(5:01)  Keep in mind that we can't surrender without letting go. To surrender means that we let go of our power, our compulsions, our possession of that thing that we have a death grip on, whatever that is for us. For me surrendering to God, when it came to my son's diagnosis, meant letting go, active surrendering to God's plan for my son, TJ. I've said it in past episodes, but surrendering for me meant letting go of the question of why my child? Instead of asking, okay, God, why my child? What do you want me to do? What is it that my child is here for? It meant letting go of whatever power I wanted or needed to hold over our situation, instead of asking God to soften my heart to his plan in his power. It meant that I needed to quit my narrowed worldview of what I thought having a son would look like: sports, friendships, grandchildren, possibly even retirement the way that my husband and I planned. Instead, it means surrendering to a different life than I had planned, but the plan that God had all along. I was chosen to carry out this plan. It is not a surprise to God. No, I wouldn't have chosen this life, willingly. I know that about myself. I don't think any special needs mom says, hey, sign me up for the heartache, the financial woes, the sleepless nights. We don't do that. Surrendering doesn't mean we don't have to deal with those issues. Surrendering simply means that we know God is in control of them, and he has a way through them to the other side of joy and hope. 

(6:44)  When I think of surrendering or giving up control, I often reflect on Matthew 6:34, which says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I told myself tomorrow's worries are tomorrow's worries. Today's joys are today's joys. Live in the moment, the joys outweigh the worries, but that's a choice that I get to make. If I don't make the choice, to focus on the joys over the worries, I know I will live to regret it. This is extremely difficult for me, and something I assume I will be working on for my entire life. I am a planner by nature. I want to always be ten steps ahead thinking and planning. That just isn't how our lives as special needs moms work, though, especially when dealing with diagnoses. I think I can speak for all special needs moms, whenever I say some days, maybe more days than not seem like a crapshoot. It's a roll of the dice, hoping we come up with a decent hand, or that we just don't lose everything about our mental stability or sanity on that one roll. I often say that I made a choice to live life with joy and hope. I actively surrender to joy and hope. Again, it is an active process of surrendering. I would love to say that I surrendered to God, and that was it. I was set, and I am happy to walk God's path forever as long as I'm on this earth. Unfortunately, I still struggle from time to time. At times, I still have to remind myself that God's way is better than mine. I know that that should be self-explanatory, but it's not for me sometimes, so I have to actively remind myself. I know like I said it should be obvious, but the truth is that I have to repeatedly make a choice to not let my son's diagnosis define his life or my family. 

(8:39)  So early on in our journey, I asked myself, what was I going to let define me instead? Let's be honest, something will define each one of us. We have to ask ourselves, what that something we'll be, and it is our choice. My choice: simple. It's being a believer. I chose faith. I chose to surrender to God's way, having faith in God's plan, even if it doesn't make sense. Let's be honest, even if I don't always like it. Faith for me is trusting and what I can't see, but knowing what God's truth is. One of my favorite scriptures is II Corinthians 5:7, which says, "For we walk by faith and not by sight." TJ is on loan to me until God calls him home. If I have a day, a month, or fifty years, I'm going to strive each and every day for joy and hope knowing God is in control. I will remind myself and make an active decision continuously to surrender to the blessings God has for me, TJ, and my family. I will surrender to the knowledge that God is Lord and Savior. He has already saved us, and if we surrender to his Lordship, we will find peace in that. None of this means that surrendering is easy. It's not. Surrendering means you are evolving into the person God has created you to be, and sometimes evolving, it hurts. But you are leaning into your calling, even if you have no idea what that calling is. One of my favorite quotes about leaning into your calling from God is coincidently about surrendering. Beth Moore says, "Anyone with maturity to surrender entirely to God is mature enough for God to use." Let me repeat that. "Anyone with the maturity to surrender entirely to God is mature enough for God to use." Surrendering to God means that we are becoming the person and the vessel that he wants to use. Surrendering isn't quitting. Surrendering is becoming who you are meant to be setting an example for those around you to see the peace in surrendering. Surrendering is letting God do the work, letting him pave the way for your journey. Surrendering is coming to God with open hands and a willing heart. 

(11:11)  I want to leave you with the last half of a poem by Bob Gotti. 

"When we give God complete control, we lose in life, nothing at all, 
But, gain from God a multitude, of benefits, with the right attitude,
With complete surrender friend, a path is brighter around the bend,
Filled with joy, peace and happiness, walking in His righteousness. 

God turns our despair into Hope, when through God we now cope, 
With all our concerns in this life, through the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 
Filling us with a new found peace, that in dark times will not cease, 
As a stable life The Lord renders, when the soul to God surrenders.

(12:04)  Thank you for joining us this week on Take Heart. Our prayer each week is for your heart to be encouraged. We are grateful that you are walking on this journey with us and if you have any questions or comments, please follow the links in the show notes. We love hearing from our listeners. You can also email us at takeheartspecialmoms@gmail.com. Thanks for listening. Next week Carrie, Amy, and I will all be together to wrap up this month on surrender.